Since we are in Holy Week with Easter upon us, it has made me think a lot about my life with religion. I was baptized as a baby and raised in the Catholic Church. We always went to church but religion was never a huge deal in my house growing up. I’ve always believed in God but after my parents got divorced I think my mom’s relationship with the church was strained. They made her feel unwelcomed and therefore we felt unwelcomed.
After that, my relationship with God started to become non-existent through high school. In college, I started feeling God pulling at my heart strings, especially after my 5 year relationship with my boyfriend dissolved. It was a relationship I put my heart and soul into and at the end of the day, we were just in different places in our lives. I felt God pulling me back in, showing me that everything I needed I could find within in; and while I wasn’t ready to go back to church regularly, I started reading and studying the bible more often.
By the time I graduated college I felt as though I had built a relationship I felt strongly about. I knew God was in my heart. Still I wasn’t ready to go back to church. I would go here and there with my roommate. I would listen to Joel Osteen’s sermons almost weekly and then eventually daily on the way to and from work. I am of the opinion that you don’t need to go to church every Sunday to be strong in your faith.
I strongly believe that trusting God’s timing has gotten me to a really wonderful place in my life. The first time I went out with Cary, I went to meet him by myself while he had several friends with him. That was so out of character for me but something deep inside me knew it was all in His plan.
The next day he deployed to Afghanistan and I started a relationship with someone a world away. Again, trusting His timing. It ended up being the best thing that ever could have happened for our relationship. We got to get to know each other in the most unique way, but in the truest way. Had we not had that opportunity to get to know one another so deeply in that situation, I truly don’t think we would have been able to weather a lot of the storms we have been through. It was not by mistake, it was all in His plan for the two of us.
Teagan was not planned but has by far been the greatest gift of our lives. Again, not by mistake, all in His timing. That has become my life mantra: Trust the timing of your life. For me personally, I know that is God’s timing.
I just started going back to church. It finally felt like the right timing. I decided to go to a non-denominational church. Cary isn’t joining me at church yet but I know when the timing is right and his heart is open, he will join us too. Teagan enjoyed her nursery school experience and I think it is something she will look forward to week after week as she gets older.
Opening my heart to God is something that is so important to me. Raising Teagan to believe in something is also really important to me. I want her to grow up believing that there is something bigger than her, someone that will always love and forgive her; and I want her to grow up trusting God’s timing.